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Saturday, August 29, 2009

The way it is

I'm gonna tell yall about me...not random ass facts or little known shit about me...I'm gonna give you the scoop...

Like I said in a previous post I've made alot of changes within myself, so I'm gonna take a moment to tell yall how I used to be.

The Old Me:

  • Unhappy...perpetually unhappy...all the time I was unhappy about something...my money situation, my living situation, my relationship, my family, my job, that there was nothing on tv....anything and everything...not a day went by that I wasn't unhappy about something.
  • Pessimistic...if I was having a good day...I knew before I went to bed something was going to happen that would make it a bad day.
  • Sneaky...yep, sure was...used to do shit and lie about it (nothing like cheating or anything like that) or just conveniently omit the shit all together.
  • Hater....(I hate that term) but yep I was....who did I hate on the most? Myself. Hated the way I looked, I could point out more flaws about myself than anyone else could...I was so self conscious that it (SEVERELY) affected my relationship with my ex. He would give me a compliment and before he could finish his sentence I was telling him how he was wrong.
The "New" Me:

  • I'm happy! Genuinely happy.
  • Optimistic....everyday will be a great one...that is my mentality.
  • Honest...maybe too honest from time to time lol...but better too honest than not honest at all.
  • "Congratulator"...if I see somebody with a cute outfit/hairstyle...whatever...I will let them know...might just make their day *shrugs*
  • I love thyself...I remember the day I looked in the mirror and was actually happy with what I saw. February 14, 2009...was preparing to go out to some singles Valentine's day party and just smiled at what I saw...nothing bad to say at all.
You see the general direction...I was a depressed bitch (literally)...for what reason? I don't know. I mean even looking at pictures from then and now you can see the difference. Pictures back then...no teeth, no smile...just a smirk..and few and far in between. Pictures now...teeth, big smiles, and lots of them. I try to spread sunshine in everything I do now hence the reason for the closing yall see so often....

Peace n blessings!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

i like this post. you were very honest. i see we have a lot of similarties. i sometimes feel the EXACT same way you USED to feel. WHY i do not know. ive definitely been telling myself that i need to focus more on the positives than the negatives, ive been working on it, BUT its not always easy.

khaki la'docker said...

and this is why I luvs you, homie.

Krissy said...

We as women go threw things like this. The coming out of it is the best part to me. I'm a before/after type chick myself and the before I don't even blink an eye at anymore because she's not me. Not ever again and I'm overjoyed about that.

@MyG said...

this is my favorite post! and you still da....ok enough of that bey bey