Yall, I had an epiphany of sorts while at work the other day while thinking about the whole Milk situation...
Am I ready for another relationship?
Then he sent me the email about the cookies and I saw those words...
....good girlfriend....potential wife
......
Yall I had a panic attack at work. For serious. Shortness of breath, head spinning...ALL OF THAT!
I know what yall thinking:
"A man tells you you'd make a good girlfriend/potential wife and you start spazzing? Da fuck type shit is that?"
I know! I was weirded out by it myself! Especially after all the times I've talked about wanting to be in a relationship again (not only on here but countless times to my friends) and here's somebody saying I could see myself with you and I flip out? I couldn't understand it myself for awhile. So I got myself together and evaluated my feelings. I determined that I'm scared to get into another relationship, even though I thought I was. I mean it's not like I'm still heartbroken over my last relationship (cause I'm not).....and it's been almost two years since I called it quits with the ex (02/13/08)...so what is it?
I just don't wanna get hurt. I don't want to invest my time, my emotions, my heart, into something that's not going to work out in the end. I cannot stand for my time to be wasted by another individual and after the 6 years invested with the ex....I just can't do that again.
So maybe I'm not ready for a relationship like I thought I was :-/ (not saying it was imminent anyway)
Or maybe I'm not ready for a relationship because I know that I'm not at that point with anybody.
I just want to make sure that when I do "go there" again...that it's right for the long term, not just for the moment.
6 comments:
yeah you gotta pace yourself when you reach the point you're at, like you dont want any bullshit. and there's nothing wrong with being hesitant, especially when someone is coming on strongly like that and using the words "potential wife" so soon. honestly i'd panic a lil bit too. like "dont be tryina catch me up in a whirlwind romance, just be yourself and let me figure you out for a minute." i dont know i just dont like men who come on strong n pull out the guns so quick. professing deep feelings and sending song lyrics when he hasn't even allowed you time to figure out exactly how you see him yet. im assuming (i could be wrong and if i am then disregard the rest of this sentence lol) that as far as he knows at this point, you are not interested in a relationship just yet- and even if you were entertaining the idea- he should still respect your concerns/reservations and fall back a little bit so you dont feel pressured. ok im high and i hope this made sense because im about to hit submit w/out proofreading it lol
i feel the same way. i want a relationship so bad im i dont want to devote time to it and it not work out. i just wish men came with a label that told me if he was to one day be my husband lol.
i think relationships are about taking chances. BUT i do understand where your coming from no one has time for BS. i say just continue to get it to know him & take it one day @ a time.
sometimes that feeling just means that youre not ready for a relationship with THAT person. or, maybe you're not quite ready for a relationship period. however, a good relationship just HAPPENS. it happens when you're not aching for it. you wake up and realize that what you have with this person sure as hell resembles a relationship, and the both of you decide you're not interested in seeing anyone else.
my point is, when you are ready it will just naturally happen. and it will feel really really really good.
I just don't wanna get hurt. I don't want to invest my time, my emotions, my heart, into something that's not going to work out in the end. I cannot stand for my time to be wasted by another individual.
MAMAS I FEEL YOU 100% BUT I GUESS LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS ARE ALL ABOUT TAKING CHANCES YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET! IF YOUR FEELING DUDE AND HES GOOD TO YOU GIVE HIM A CHANCE! EMOTIONS MAKE YOUR HEART STOP...
Relationships are a gamble no matter how long you've known the person. And he can have feelings for you, strong ones and that's fine because that's how HE feels about you. You don't have to share those feelings with him, but being honest that you don't feel that way about him right now prevents him from feeling like you're leading him on. He seems like a good guy but if you're not ready you're just not ready. We've all gone threw it. I'm at that point right now. I'm seeing someone who would make a wonderful partner but I'm not ready to give him a title or make anything official. I just want to leave things how they are for right now and not rush into anything. But knowing this man for 7 years wouldn't be rushing. I'm just not ready and he knows that. So the air is clear and the lines of communication remain open.
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