Here at 'My Thoughts' I devote a significant amount of time to talks about relationship type shit (over 50 posts)...well I've found a book...that while it doesn't hold all the answers to every single relationship question...it is a very good start:
The Conversation
By: Hill Harper
By: Hill Harper
I have read books on relationships in the past...some had some good info...some great info...but most of it was stuff I already knew...common sense if you will....
But THIS....this book is something else...I have yet to read a relationship book so poignant...so precise...so eye opening as this one...what is it about this book that makes it so great? Hill's frankness...his honesty. He's a single man trying to figure out (through the course of this book) why he hasn't found love yet...he has the same questions, the same hangups, the same worries. I was hooked from the Introduction. From the time I read this book until I put it down I felt that he had wrote this book specifically for me...I could hear his voice, see his mannerisms, knew when he smiled when he wrote a specific thing...it sounds crazy I know, but this piece really spoke to me. By page 65 I had tears in my eyes when I realized where I went wrong in my past relationship. It wasn't his fault, it wasn't "just not meant to be" like I always told myself, I had to take my fair share of blame, and up until today, I was blind to that. I immediately text my ex and told him I was reading this book and came to a realization about somethings that I (not we or he) did wrong in our relationship...I went on to say something that is EXTREMELY hard for me to say:
I sure did! I apologized to my ex...because he deserved it...and I felt damned good after doing it.
One thing I want to touch on that was in the book that hit a nerve with me because I know I'm guilty of it...women are quick to talk to their girlfriends about how they feel, good, bad, confused, etc...our girlfriends know us inside and out...but our men, not so much, they don't get the 100% like our girlfriends do, and because of this, it causes a breakdown in communication. Wow...that is me all day! My best friend can tell my mood by looking at me or just by hearing me say hello on the phone...but I would bottle my feelings up with my ex, he would be none the wiser as to when something was wrong.
There is so much info in this book that I found useful, it took me 12 hours to finish the book (because I did have other real life stuff to do) and by the time I finished, I was spent! Mentally and emotionally I was pooped, I was laying in my bed reading, I closed the book, got on twitter, said: "fuck yall doing" and fell the hell out...at 9pm...I ended up awake at 3:45am....and here I am blogging at 6:21am lol.
Now this book is dedicated to the black family and black relationships but I truly think that anyone of any race can benefit from it...even more so if you date black men/women.
All in all, this is one of the best books I have read in YEARS, and that's saying alot! So, I suggest you cop that at your earliest convenience.
Peace n blessings!
But THIS....this book is something else...I have yet to read a relationship book so poignant...so precise...so eye opening as this one...what is it about this book that makes it so great? Hill's frankness...his honesty. He's a single man trying to figure out (through the course of this book) why he hasn't found love yet...he has the same questions, the same hangups, the same worries. I was hooked from the Introduction. From the time I read this book until I put it down I felt that he had wrote this book specifically for me...I could hear his voice, see his mannerisms, knew when he smiled when he wrote a specific thing...it sounds crazy I know, but this piece really spoke to me. By page 65 I had tears in my eyes when I realized where I went wrong in my past relationship. It wasn't his fault, it wasn't "just not meant to be" like I always told myself, I had to take my fair share of blame, and up until today, I was blind to that. I immediately text my ex and told him I was reading this book and came to a realization about somethings that I (not we or he) did wrong in our relationship...I went on to say something that is EXTREMELY hard for me to say:
"and for that...I'm sorry"
I sure did! I apologized to my ex...because he deserved it...and I felt damned good after doing it.
One thing I want to touch on that was in the book that hit a nerve with me because I know I'm guilty of it...women are quick to talk to their girlfriends about how they feel, good, bad, confused, etc...our girlfriends know us inside and out...but our men, not so much, they don't get the 100% like our girlfriends do, and because of this, it causes a breakdown in communication. Wow...that is me all day! My best friend can tell my mood by looking at me or just by hearing me say hello on the phone...but I would bottle my feelings up with my ex, he would be none the wiser as to when something was wrong.
There is so much info in this book that I found useful, it took me 12 hours to finish the book (because I did have other real life stuff to do) and by the time I finished, I was spent! Mentally and emotionally I was pooped, I was laying in my bed reading, I closed the book, got on twitter, said: "fuck yall doing" and fell the hell out...at 9pm...I ended up awake at 3:45am....and here I am blogging at 6:21am lol.
Now this book is dedicated to the black family and black relationships but I truly think that anyone of any race can benefit from it...even more so if you date black men/women.
All in all, this is one of the best books I have read in YEARS, and that's saying alot! So, I suggest you cop that at your earliest convenience.
Peace n blessings!
10 comments:
thank ya Oprah...
Im gonna go pick this up. I think I remember a few other people talking about it a little while back and i wanted to get it then but it just slipped my mind.
I'm sold. I'll be getting this at month's end.
i have a best friend "male" who should write a book himself. his conversations that we have are DEEP and eye opening. im excited to read this book to see if its anything like what my best friend and i have discussed over the years.
you are not the only person who's done some apologizing and you know what, it DOES make you feel better.
thanks for the suggestion. i will be picking this up.
oh and one thing that makes me unlike most women, is my man IS my best friend. and he knows everything about me. EVERYTHING.
I think I would actually faint if my ex apologized to me.
I'm definitely going to read it. I heard him on an interview on Foxxhole and sounded like he has a real practical POV.
OK so I ordered the book and it will be here tomorrow! After reading this I have to have it and since you been bbm me with your thoughts on it I can't wait!!! maybe it will open my eyes and mind to a lot of things i did wrong in the past relationships to make future one better.
@Khaki yessssss! Join my book club and "you're getting car! And you're getting a car!" Okay....not really.
@Nightfall *tiger woods fist pump* After reading I'd love to know your thoughts on how it effected you and your thoughts.
@Ava you should tell him he should! I'd read it...as far as "my man is best friend" I think partners should be best friends...they should know everything about you, it will make the relationship stronger...however I don't think he should know everything about your friends...I hate when women do that, tell all their friend's business to their man.
@E he damn near did, he text me back and said "I don't know how to respond" I told him no response necessary, it's just something I needed to say to you.
@Sunshine yesssss! I think that it helped me tremendously to know what a man REALLY wants out of a relationship since it's so hard to get them to speak up on the topic.
Its like that? YEa, I'm going to order it today!
YES!!! Please let me know how you liked it
You already know I'm picking it up tomorrow on my weekly book run!
If this book makes me cry, I'm callin you and making you cry too!!
lmao @ Khaki calling you Oprah. But yea i saw you & the other bunnies on twitter talking about the book. I will have to get a copy as well. OH & I aint apoligizing to none of my exes, BASTARDS!
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