Separate...yet not equal

"I should know all your male friends."

"Where you been?"

"When you coming back?"

"Your friends are in our relationship too much."

"You need to cut all your ex's off...don't talk to em at all."

"You go out too much."

"You dress too suggestively."

If a man said this to a female it can be construed as being controlling...right? But flip the script...what if a woman said this to a man? Would the general population say that she was controlling as well? A few still would but it wouldn't be the same amount of people who said that the previous statements were that of a controlling male.

I had a conversation with Banks a couple weeks back about men being called controlling and he said...

"Why is it that a woman can say or ask something of a man and nothing is thought of it, it's seen as okay, but if a man were to ask the same thing of a woman he would be seen as controlling?"

I didn't have an answer for him...but I agreed with him. When in a relationship there are certain things...guidelines, stipulations, expectations that we as women set forth, but then when guidelines, stipulations, expectations are put forth by men we are quick to holla...

"Dat nigga tryna control me!"

I think women who have been single for awhile before getting into a relationship are most guilty of this. Specifically I was guilty of this with Banks, I won't go into what exactly transpired but after taking a step back, looking at the situation and consulting with the bestie I saw how his points were valid. I've been essentially single for almost 3 years now, I've been in a single mindset for almost 3 years, I never had to answer to someone, never had to think about how somebody would feel if I did this or that so it was an adjustment to say the least.

Now without yall knowing the situation yall could think I'm some silly little girl who gonna end up getting her ass beat...but I have put enough of myself on this blog for yall to get a feel for who and what type of person I am and if you don't know then yall should know that ain't Epitome's style. Besides, Epitome has dealt with a controlling man before, on more than one occasion...they didn't last long though cause Epitome don't play dat. My parents didn't teach me much in regards to a healthy relationship but they taught me if a man has to put hands on you then he has to kick rocks...they at least taught me the difference between right and wrong.

So ladies....next time a man asks something of you and you want to neckroll on him and tell him 6 ways from Sunday about himself, just take a minute and think about what he's asking of you.