This past month or so has been eventful for many reasons...one of which, I purged some people from my life that were bringing a bad aura into my vicinity...it's funny how cleansing that can be, to just wash your hands of something completely...these past couple of weeks I haven't been on twitter or FB because I haven't really had anything to say...I saw someone tweet last week
"I have been quiet because my life has been quiet...and I'm enjoying it"
My sentiments exactly.
Anywho, one of the persons who had to be purged from my life is the ex who insisted we be friends
Now generally when I done talking to someone, I'm done, they are as good as dead to me, if I see them on the street I act like I don't know them...if they speak to me, I'll speak back but I'm not gonna go outta my way to talk to them...but this one guy INSISTED we remain friends after our "relationship" was done...I try to be the nice guy so I said okay...we talked randomly through email here and there, nothing too deep, never too often...then I got with Banks...and then an outside (completely unrelated to me in any way) incident happened that made me question this new found "friendship" so I polled a few people and the consensus was there was no need to be friends with an ex (unless there was a kid involved) so I sat back and thought on the situation and found the Meek said it best when he said...
"No need to be friends with an ex while in a new relationship...why bring old shit into what you got going on now"
Then I thought about how I would feel had Banks been in constant contact with an ex...no bueno. Even if it was completely innocent in nature as my and the ex in question brief talks were...so I put on my big girl drawls and told said ex...
"We can't be friends anymore...no love lost, you've done nothing wrong, but what I don't wanna mess up what I'm working on now"
He wasn't all that happy about it, but he wished me the best and that was that.
So blog fam...have you ever had to do this? Or would you do this? What's your view on being friends with an ex?
7 comments:
I can be friends with them from a distance, as you stated, if they see me in the street and speak, then cool. But I'm fine with things just ending. Unfortunately, all my exes (except one) still contact me to say hello or to hang out. I always decide because I don't need that type of residual negative energy fucking up my chi. LOL
I honestly believe that being friends with an ex can be extremely detrimental if you have moved on. There are so many things to be worried about. Even if your new boo respects and trusts you, he doesn't know the other party. He doesn't know this guys intentions in being your friend. He doesn't know if this is a way to get you back. There are too many what ifs, and what ifs cause huge problems in the long run.
RC & I strongly believe in not doing what we wouldn't be happy about if the other did. I know I don't like the idea of him chilling or conversing with an ex so why would I do it? For example last week an ex of his asked him to come help her move. Now something like this is extremely innocent, but he knows if I went to help an ex move he'd have a problem with it. He declined. There are so many other things to argue about, arguing about other people is the worst.
I've only been able to have a cordial relationship with one of my exes but even then he used to still try and get close like I would crumble....n-word PUH-LEAZE! I wasn't checking for him like that to give in but if I had a man whose ex was still pullin' shit like that I'd be FURIOUS! So if I had to let go of the friendship because of a new relationship, no love lost.
I'm friends with 2 of my ex's. With one, we didn't end on bad terms and it took him awhile to get over me but we talk every couple of weeks when he calls me to catch up and ask how my baby is. Very innocent and he was always a good friend to me. However, if us being friend every started to effect a current relationship then I could end our friendship.
The other ex I speak to him sporadically and it's always only thought yahoo messenger.
through*
@Monique **hi fives you** yes ma'am! We seeing all eye to eye and whatnot.
@Dearly Beloved what that heffa asking RC to help her move for? She don't have no other friends? Bitch. Boo. Bye.
@Starlaa Yes ma'am! I'd be hot...how you gonna continue to friends with this bitch seeing as though she obviously doesn't respect our relationship.
@Krissy I'm glad that works for you, it can def be a sticky situation
i'm with you. i don't do the ex as friends shit. basically because they are NEVER cool with me being with anyone else. and they wanna talk about their new dude like i care. they also wanna fight about all shit all the time. i miss the friendships with them..but it does remove a lot of drama out my life.
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