The Truth About Men

Here on My Thoughts I attempt to give women some insight into men...I've dealtwith all different types of men in my life time:

Ugly ones
Pretty boys
Fat boys
Skinny boys
Drug dealers
9-5ers
Ones with kids
Ones with a buncha kids
Ones with no kids
College boys
School of the hard knocks boys...the list goes on.

I credit the knowledge that I have of the opposite sex to my brother who is 6 years my senior and his friends...they hipped me to game early on. So when I read some of these relationship books (i.e. Think like a man act like a lady or whatever the fuck it's called) I think to myself...duhhhh....that's common fucking sense.

Even with all my knowledge (which in my opinion far exceeds that of an average female) I do not by any means profess to know it all...but a friend (Slaus of Ohellnawl) broke it down for us ladies...and it just wouldn't be right if I didn't share!

After many talks with my female friends over the past few weeks, I’ve come to understand one key factor about women in general. Most of you don’t really understand shyt about men. You know what your girls have told you, who also know not a damn thing about those of us with testicles. You think you know, but the vast majority of you don’t.


So I decided to do you lovely women a favour and write up a list of items that are true about 95% of men….

1). We don’t really care about whatever it is you are talking about unless whatever you are saying revolves around us getting a burger or a blowjob. Otherwise we don’t really care about how your day was, what happened on Greys Anatomy or about what that bitch Carol said at work and how you wanted to slap her. LIke Chris rock said, We will just nod and throw in occasional quips so that you think we care. ” Whaat you dont say, really, get out of here, hell nawl, whaaaat? I told you that bytch is crazy!” Honestly I have done this so many times, you’d be surprised how it works.


2).If you think you look fat in it, we do also. But we don’t care because we wanna fugg you regardless. Yeah your thighs have gotten thick, yeah your ass is bigger ass bigger. More for us to grip and more for us to kong. The only time we care is when you’ve gotten huge. Even then, we are still gonna fugg.

3). Our own mother couldn’t make us stop leaving the toilet seat up so what makes you think you can. STFU already. If it is so easy for us to put the toilet seat down, it’s just as easy for you to do it. So shut up. If you want to get us to remember to put it back down, do something that matters instead of bytching. Like withhold a blowjob.

4). We don’t care if you are on your period and feel horrible. Our jibby still has needs and you still have a mouth. What does your period have to do with being able to put balls in your mouth. Nothing. So hook it up.

5). We don’t care HOW annoying Nikki Minaj is or how stupid she appears. We would still hit it.


6). Unless you have a ring on your finger and share a last name, don’t ask us to hold your purse. That’s that boolshyt. YOU are the only one that thinks it’s cute. But we still expect to be fuggin later on.

7). Cheating on you has nothing to do with how the other chick looks. It was purely about how she catered to our ego.

8). Any woman can lick taint. But can you make a meal from scratch? It’s important to us.

9). Yes sports and video games ARE that important.

10). We don’t notice your hair or make-up changes not because we don’t like them, but because it has nothing to do with us getting a burger or a blowjob. You want us to care that you are using RubyLove#5 on your lips? Tell us it makes your lips warmer when friction is applied. Like, dick friction. THEN… we will have something to say. Until then, :: shrugs::


11). Your friend that you think is hot? Yeah we think she is hot too.

12). Don’t ask us questions you don’t want the answer to. If something happened to you or we broke up, YES.. we would fugg one of your friends.

13). We gossip more than you and we know it. but we won’t admit it so quit asking.

14). We don’t care HOW much time and effort you spent shopping for lingerie. We love it, but there is no need for it to be on your body for more than 3 minutes. When are we fuggin?

15). If you don’t let us watch porn and have our little fantasies, we will probably end up fuggin someone else.

16). Yeah, cheese DOES need to be on everything.

17). We will tell you whatever it is you want to hear if it means getting our balls in your mouth. Things we don’t even mean like…we love you.

18). Regardless of what we say, we don’t really care if you spit or swallow. You can use it to be the glue for your macaroni art for all we care. We just want it to be in your mouth. What happens to it after that, we don’t care.

19). If i don’t even recycle paper, what makes you think I’m going to kiss you in the mouth after i cum in it. I don’t want it back. It’s of no use to me now. It’s yours. Congrats.

20). There are going to be a few guys that claim they are not like this. They are lying ass lying. Trust me. By claiming they are not like this, it will make them look nice and sweet, which would up their chances of getting a blowjob and a burger. See how it all comes back to that…