What does one do...
When you're in a relationship...
And your significant others friend hits on you?
Of course I have a story...
It was October 2004, I was at my boyfriend's mother's house. It was my son's first birthday party...all our friends and family were there. Everybody is having a grand old time...party starts to wind down and people are telling everybody bye and whatnot on the lawn, I'm inside cleaning up, my boyfriend (at the time) friend (whom we both went to school with) comes inside to where I'm cleaning up.
"Congratulations, yall kept him alive for a year." He says with a chuckle and places a hand on my back. I laugh and continue to clean up. We chit chat about what he's been up to and whatnot...friendly convo, my boyfriend and his other friends come in, we chit chat and whatnot and somehow after awhile my boyfriend and his friends migrate out of the room...leaving behind me and the friend in question.
He gets up to get a plate of food and sits back down...next to me...closer than he was initially, I shrug it off...he says something, what, I can't remember since it's been so long, but I know it was inappropriate for a guy to say to his friend's girlfriend (not to mention mother of his child)...I laughed uneasily...then he said something else, again inappropriate and rubbed my thigh ever so quickly, I got scooted further away from him on the couch and at that moment my boyfriend and his friends walk back in.
Now...I know I was wrong for the simple fact that I didn't shut it down verbally, but I was young and dumb...never again would that happen now. I know better. But when the friend left and the party was over, I was left with the question...
"Should I tell my boyfriend?"
When you're in a relationship...
And your significant others friend hits on you?
Of course I have a story...
It was October 2004, I was at my boyfriend's mother's house. It was my son's first birthday party...all our friends and family were there. Everybody is having a grand old time...party starts to wind down and people are telling everybody bye and whatnot on the lawn, I'm inside cleaning up, my boyfriend (at the time) friend (whom we both went to school with) comes inside to where I'm cleaning up.
"Congratulations, yall kept him alive for a year." He says with a chuckle and places a hand on my back. I laugh and continue to clean up. We chit chat about what he's been up to and whatnot...friendly convo, my boyfriend and his other friends come in, we chit chat and whatnot and somehow after awhile my boyfriend and his friends migrate out of the room...leaving behind me and the friend in question.
He gets up to get a plate of food and sits back down...next to me...closer than he was initially, I shrug it off...he says something, what, I can't remember since it's been so long, but I know it was inappropriate for a guy to say to his friend's girlfriend (not to mention mother of his child)...I laughed uneasily...then he said something else, again inappropriate and rubbed my thigh ever so quickly, I got scooted further away from him on the couch and at that moment my boyfriend and his friends walk back in.
Now...I know I was wrong for the simple fact that I didn't shut it down verbally, but I was young and dumb...never again would that happen now. I know better. But when the friend left and the party was over, I was left with the question...
"Should I tell my boyfriend?"
I asked several friends what they thought and got several responses:
"Don't say anything, you won't see him again (cause his friend lives in another state) and that could cause a rift between yall...or his friends could start badmouthing you."
"Tell him! He needs to know his homeboys are grimey."
"Do what you think is best...if you feel you should tell him, tell him, if you think you shouldn't don't."
I ended up not telling him...I was scared, I didn't want to cause any problems, and I was half scared that he wouldn't even believe me, I mean him and his friend go back way further than he and I did...and had been through way more than he and I had...
But was that the right decision? To this day I still don't know :-/
What say you? Would you tell? Would you not tell? Would you want to hear this info from your significant other?
4 comments:
I would probably tell so that my BF could eliminate the "aint shit" dude from his circle.
Good point
I would tell him. What dudes wants to keep someone around that might dog him for his girl? Nah. Real friends don't mess with other friend's happiness.
I cosign on telling him but it's a hard choice to make, who's to say what might have happened, so I feel you on your decision.
And er, I gave you the "Honest Scrap" award so when you gets to it, stop on by the blog and pick it up!
*blows kiss*
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