Real Housewives of Atlanta Episode 1

I had to do it....HAD TO DO IT!

First off...Real Housewives of Atlanta = 2009 Jerry Springer

TRAINWRECK AT IT'S FINEST honey!

So this season started with a BANG! A POW! A BLADOW!

Nene

I love love love that she's real. She don't give a fuck...she don't give 1/8 of a fuck. And truly, what diva is complete without a gay male companion? I know I got one! First thought about Nene's move...did her house really get foreclosed on as was reported last year? And is she just renting this new house or is she buying? Her man looks like her granddaddy but shit, if it works for you, do you boo! I also really love that she and Lisa are so close now. I think their friendship is really complimentary. I also love the new doo, very cute. One thing I need to say...as a big chested woman myself, there are certain things that we simply cannot wear. Nene should know better...ESPECIALLY after seeing herself on TV last season and most of her shirt choices are quite erroneous in nature. Especially that sea green frock she had on during one of her one-on-ones.

Lisa

She is so pretty! And did this heffa say she was 38? WHAAAA?! I'm so jelly lol. She looks fabulous! And Ed is so damned cute! I love their little family! And EJ is tooo damned cute! I wanna bite his cheeks! Even though they have more money than the average couple, they are still SO down to earth, and I love that!

Kim

Ugh...so lackluster. Guess they figured so much shit surrounded her last season that they would wait to kick her drama into full force. See she still hasn't gotten a new wig (girl call me, I can help you...I make WAAAAAAY less money than you do and my wigs are on POINT). Speaking of making less money...what the fuck does this bitch do? How does she afford her lifestyle? Leasing Bentley Coupes and Ranges...guess laying on your back is quite lucrative huh? And WHHHHHHHY *Nancy Kerrigan voice as Nina says* is she at Empire Beauty Schools talking about starting a wig line? Uhh bitch, empire beauty is around the corner from me....$10.00 pedicures. You supposed to be so damned high siddity and shit but you doing some basic bitch shit (I know I hate that term...but it was SO appropriate for the situation).

Kandi

Okay. That hair. Need I say more? Bitch looking like a damned rooster and shit...cock-a-doodle-dooing on hoes and whatnot. And what is it with black women and blonde hair? Give that shit up! Her hair would look better (albeit not great...but better) if it was black/brown and didn't have that "There's something about Mary" cum flip in the front...you've made too much money to go around looking like that..do better...do fucking better! And her man AJ...for shame. I read on SandraRose.com when they announced that she was going to be on the show that he is a deadbeat dad/drug dealer....don't know if it's true but uhh...I wouldn't doubt it. First thought when she started flashing her ring was..."I wonder if she paid for that herself"....and I'm sure she did. And as far as her momma not liking dude...usually honey...momma knows best.

Sheree

Poor Sheree. It's one thing to be evicted from your home...it's quite another for you to be evicted from your home with your kids in tow...it's EVEN WORSE! for you to be evicted...with your kids...ANNNNNND have it broadcast for the world to see. And laaaawd, she was hawking that She by Sheree hard won't she? I mean everytime she went out she had it on...logo and everything, I'm gonna need for her to bring it back a couple notches.

Now to the good part...

THE DRAMA! *dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun*

First Act...Neicy Nash's Birthday Party

Uhhhh....how dare Sheree not know whose party she's attending? HOW RUDE?!??!!! *Stephanie Tanner voice* Kim not saying anything to Nene or Lisa....bitch move! Last season you were talking about how you would beat Nene's ass if she talked to you, until she called you a "TRASHBOX"....and a "TRASHY HOOKAH" now you sneaking past them at a party to "avoid altercation" yeah right bitch...yeah muh fucking right. I love how the three girls (Nene, Lisa, and Sheree bonded over their mutual hatred for Kim).

Second Act...(and really the only one that matters)...Anthony the party planner vs. Sheree

*cues fight bell*

MAN! I mean...I watched that shit (literally) 4 times. I kept rewinding the shit! Number 1...whose side am I on? Sheree's all damn day! Anthony was straight up and down (bet that's the first time he's been called straight) out of muh fucking line (I heard on the Watch what happens: live after the second showing of the 1st episode) that he did the show for free and I think that that was the reason that he decided he could "ack a dayum foo" but uhhh no. Sheree stated that Anthony CAME TO HER pitching the idea of this Independence Party (probably as a way to get his name out there as far as the party circuit goes)...so seeing as though she was lending her name to the event for the benefit of HIM...he should have acted with MUCH MORE class.

"Google me!"

"I eat bitches like you everyday!"

"I will smack the shit outta you!"

"Ya momma's a bitch!"

Whew! Tell em why you mad son! Tell em why you mad!

He went from 0 to 190 in 2.5 seconds! So very unprofessional...doubt he gets any business off this exposure. But I LOVE how Sheree ACTUALLY....FOR ONCE came out of her little self imposed "classy" shell. After seeing that I actually...*gulp* liked the bitch? She let down that wall of fabulosity that she tries to portray and showed her real self...I wish it would continue through the rest of the season...but I know better. Obviously, judging from the clip of her pulling on Kim's wig her "regular" self comes out ever so often but yeah, it'll just be tid bits I'm sure.

Overall I give this episode a fucking 20 on a scale of 1-10. Fine entertainment! So I'll probably have to blog about the shit every Thursday now lol.