Assume...the fucking...position

I was looking in my glove compartment and found...something...that reminded me of a story to share with you all in blog land.

This goes back a couple months...actually to last year when me and the B4N was just kicking it...before he started slanging that good pipe...damn I miss that nigga...anyway, we sitting in my car outside his boys house (trap house) just talking.

Now, you all know, trap houses (for the most part) are not located in the most...um...upscale sides of town. So yeah, I'm chilling my suburban ass in the PJ's with a drug dealer...just asking for trouble n shit. Anywho, we chilling or whatever, had been out there maybe like, an hour or so? And I see the people (a.k.a. the boys in blue) pull up. I square my eyes to look at the cop pulling up behind the one already parked, first police officer walks to my car flashlight in hand pointing directly to my face. Second officer walks around to the passenger side, flashlight also in hand.

"Oh shit." We both say damn near simultaneously.

I roll down the window, plaster a smile on my face.

"How you guys doing tonight?" -Officer #1 says to me

"Good." -I reply

"What's going on? What are yall doing out here?" -Officer #1 asks me

"Nothing. Just talking." -I reply still smiling

"Okay, well we got a call about two people in a car...suspicious looking." -Officer #2 says from the passenger side.

"You mind stepping out the vehicle sir?" -Officer #1 says to B4N, he obliges, goes around to the back of the car, I hear them talking....

"So let me see your ID man." :looks over ID: "Ahhhh, I know you...REEEEEAL familar with you." -Officer #1

"That's not me no more man." -B4N says with a chuckle

"Mmm hmm, how you know her?" Officer #2 asks

"I've known her about 2 months, we just friends, just talking like she said." -B4N

"Come on buddy...we know you! Deuce Bigelow! That's you." -Officer #2

"Nope, not me man." -B4N

"Alright, alright. You got any drugs or weapons on ya?" -Officer #1

"No sir." -B4N

"Mind if we search ya?" -Officer #2

"No sir." -B4N

They search him and come up with nothing...come around to my side.

"Can you step out of the car ma'am?" Officer #1

I do as instructed, he asks me the same questions, I of course answer the same way. Officer #2 (a.k.a. the "bad cop" of the good cop/bad cop genre they are playing out) stays on the passenger side...he checks my ID...sees my location is on the nice side of town and says...

"You know, we got a call, we wanted to make sure you know that yall were all right, cause I don't know if you know this ma'am...but this is not a good area you know? Lots of crime...lots of drugs." -Officer #1

"No sir, I wasn't aware." -Me (like the toys in the street and crackheads lurking about didn't tip me off)

"Oh okay, well it is. Now do you have any drugs or weapons on you?" -Officer #1

"No sir I do not." -Me

"Okay, any drugs or weapons in the vehicle?" -Officer #1

"No sir." -Me

"Mind if I take a look?" -Officer #1

"No sir." -Me

B4N gets out the car...Officer #1 looks through the car, Officer #2 stands by me and B4N...Officer #1 is looking in all my compartments n shit and goes into the glove box....

"She got the handcuffs!" -Officer #1 says with a chuckle.

FAAAAAAAAAAWCK!!!!! I forgot about those in there!

So now Officer #1 & 2 and B4N think I'm a freak ho cause I carry handcuffs in the whip.

FML!