Mommy Dearest

So...if you follow me on twitter RedDiamondGirl (shameless plug...yes...I know) you saw my tweet today that said:

"You ain't SHIT!!!!" 15 minutes later "You look pretty for work, you want some money for lunch?"

And then tweeting with Nina about how she was in fact manic, not an undiagnosed schizophrenic as I originally thought made the little light bulb go off in my head....I'll blog about her ass!

I been putting it off for so long because talking about negative shit (especially her) is fucking DRAIIIIIIIINING! But alas, here goes nothing.

My mother is 54 years old, and in my 25 years of existence on this Earth, I can never remember a time where she was "normal". I remember asking her why she married my father cause all she ever did (and still does) is talk bad about him. She told me...VERBATIM:

"He told me he would buy me a house on the nice side of town...and he did...he told me he would buy me a car...and he did...he said he would give me a daughter...and he did." -Her

"So...you were a golddigger?" -Me

"Honey I'm a pirate! A golddigger ain't got shit on me!" -Her

This ^^^ is what I was forced to base relationships on...and I wonder why I have no man HA! Her and my father have been cohabiting roommates for hmmm 11 years now? They JUST started sleeping in the same room after 7 years of sleeping in separate rooms...only reason they sleeping together now? My dad's bed broke. She stabbed him a couple months ago....in the mouth...she blacked out...doesn't remember what happened. I had to break them up. I mean the woman is CERTIFIABLE! I remember one day she threw ice at me from across the room because somebody ELSE ate the last piece of cake. She threw a jar of grease at my brother's head for something stupid.

Do you see a pattern here?

She talks about everyone in my family like they aren't shit. "I hate you...you ain't shit...fucking idiot...bitch..." the list goes on and on.

But then it never fails 15 minutes-1 hour later she acts like she never said some shit to crush your world apart. I can remember being really young, like 7 or 8 and SERIOUSLY contemplating running away/committing suicide ONLY to get away from her ass. That lasted for all of a couple days. She's not worth my life, period.

She's on Lexipro...but she smokes weed. I'm not talking a blunt here and there, I'm talking 100-500 every 5-6 days....now I'm no therapist...no doctor but smoking weed and taking Lexipro....seems as though it would have a counter active effect correct? Well she might as well not be taking the damn Lexipro cause ain't shit changed in her attitude...cept maybe it's worse.

Then she has SOOOOO many issues with men....ugh! Did I mention she was gay for about 6 months back in 03? Yeeeeeah, well she was, till she saw that a user is gonna be a user...whether they have a dick or a pussy.

And on that note, I'm going to smoke...this shit took forever to type and I feel like I just went to a funeral.

Peace and blessings, and thanks for reading as always