It just keeps calling me....

I was reading a new blog suggested by my little latina mami whom I like to call Miami Macary

(Shout out to you Ms. Macary!!!!!)

And the post talked about how she left her Blackberry at home and how she was stressing about it all day...which reminded me of my experience this week.

Tuesday I go to work, already having a bad day cause my contact fucked my eye up and I had to walk around looking like Aaliyah circa 1995 with my hair over my eye cause it looked like I had been stabbed with a DACK in my eye or some shit...

Wait...I'm off topic n shit...where was I? Oh yeah, Tuesday...work....

I go into work and my phone just shuts the fuck off! I'm like, "Da fuck?!" I plug it into my computer to charge...leave it for 20 minutes, try to turn the bitch on and it starts to load and dies again!

HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAALE NAWL!

I find the closest Verizon store via their website and make mental note to fly out the door to go get my baby fixed.

Problem is....lunch time isn't for another 3 hours

FML!!!!!!! RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!

I'm cut off from twitter and texts for 3 hours?

This is where the withdrawals kick in. I start sweating, checking the phone every five seconds, snapping on customers, straight feening a la Pookie from New Jack City.

Finally lunch time comes, I break my damn neck getting out the door (and run a couple lights) getting to Verizon.

So I get there and check in....n shit. And wait patiently for them to call my name.

"Epitome" the burly bitch with no perm and copious amounts of brown gel that was slicking down her "baby hairs with a shirt on that looked like a damned poncho that somebody had threw paint on called my name.

I sashay (yes bitch, sashay) in my red stiletto's up to the counter, all the while the bitch is hitting me with the fucking side eye of death...her blood is boiling and I can fucking see it.

"Hah can I hep yew" She says in her coonish accent.

"My phone cut off about 10. It was on charge all night, worked fine this morning, cut off when I got to work, tried to charge it again, still won't cut on." I say as I hand her my phone and adjust my bag that she was so enviously eye balling.

"Be righ back" She says and walks to the back.

Do you know....this Chet from weird science looking bitch....

Disappeared for 40 fucking minutes with my damn phone. I mean no courtesy check in or nothing? Just fucking went in the back and left me standing in the front...now, I'm trying to be a better person, cause I really wanted to walk around that store pulling displays down off the fucking walls....but I chilled, sat my fly ass down and waited....patiently...well not patiently, but I kept my damn mouth shut.

She comes back out and hands me the phone. I swear I hear angels and harps in my ears as I see my baby is back up and running.

"You musta had-a bad baddery or sump'n...it should be fine nah." She says

She hands me my phone, to which I see my text messages were pulled up...from like 3 days before. I move my eyes from my phone to her and back to my phone, and back to her.

Let me take a pause for the cause right here.

I'm livid at the point that she comes back out and I see my phone on because

a.) she took so damn long
b.) I know she only had to replace my battery since my phone was on
c.) Cell phone stores have rapid chargers, it takes my regular charger probably 20 minutes to reload my battery 100% so why the fuck, hell, shit, ass, mutha fucka! did it take you 40 damn minutes?

Okay....back to my story. I look at her and she got this silly ass grin on her face like,

Oops...my bad

I roll my eyes so damn hard I thought I was gonna fall asleep.

"Yeah, it should be fine nah." -Her

"Oh, it took 40 minutes to change the battery huh?" -Me as I look at my phone still showing open text messages.

"Yeah, I charged the battary fah yew." -Her *nervous laughter*

"Humph....yeah...half way...thanks." -Me with another roll of my eyes.

I hair flipped on that bitch and sashayed the fuck out.

And I shouted that bitch out on twitter....

To the bitch at verizon who was reading my text messages while she was supposed to be replacing my battery....hope you were entertained ho!

Bitch ass bitch....