Apparently bullying has become a big 'to do' in the past couple of years...children/teens have become depressed due to intense repeated bullying and have taken their lives as a result. Sad...truly sad that these young people feel that the only way to escape this is to take their own life.
With that said...this sudden emergence of 'death by bullying' makes me wonder...what kind of children are we raising?
I say this not because of the bullies because bullies have always and will always be around. But why all of a sudden are these young people committing suicide over harsh words or a shove or two?
Now I'm not excusing the bullying behavior...no, hurting someone is wrong, even if it is only with words, but I can clearly remember lunch time in high school was 'crack fest' EVERYBODY was talked about, nothing was off limits...skin, hair, brains or lack thereof, clothes, hell even family was joked about! And you did one of two things...sucked it up and cracked a joke or two back...or go eat your lunch somewhere else...but no one was killing themselves over it!
So what is the difference now?
Are we raising our children to be more malicious?
Are are we raising them to be more soft?
What has changed from the parenting style 20 some odd years ago? What have we done that has 'thinned' our children's skin out that they can no longer take a joke? What have we done that has toughened these children up with so much hatred that they are preying so aggressively on the weak? What have/are we doing...and how can we change it?
4 comments:
Hey Chica...great topic! Really is and very important one too. It hurts me very deeply that this (suicide) is even happening. You are right that when we were kids, it either rolled off or we shot back. Simple as that. I think now though that for some reason, the kids internalize a lot more. The need to fit in is more in demand than it once was.
I think what is missing, in the home, is instilling in your kids to be 'individual' because on some level I think that these kids commit suicide not because they are timid, but because they feel that the dominant population does not accept them and therefore, "who does my life matter to?" type of thing. They give too much power to someone other than themselves. They are not being taught to love themselves - for themselves and fuck what others have to say or think about you. It's really all I can come up with because it's a total mystery.
I will say, as a sidenote, that kids have been bullied since forever, and it really got to me that it became this so-called movement, when it began to involve the gay kids. NObody should be bullied and the schools certainly have a responsibility to take action when this shit is happening. It seems in most of these cases, they've turned the other cheek and let situations progress further than they should have.
I had a situation brew with my son some years ago and nipped it in the bud early, but the principal, was opposed to me confronting the parents about it...his thing: "boys will be boys". Case in point.
I was actually discussing this point with a friend of mine a couple of days ago.
Maybe it comes from us as parents? Maybe it's because we whip that ass so viciously that they see us as intimidating and the pain as the intimidator....thus the bullying of smaller children.
That was her argument, mine was spare the rod, spoil the child. I'm a big proponent of corporal punishment. I think it's important for us as parents to take a stand and whip that ass when necessary, but I understand that everyone doesn't agree.
I agree with you, there have always been bullies, there are bullies and there always will be bullies. As parents we have to take a strong hand and take control of this ish. This won't be happening to my child and I wouldn't want my child to put anyone else's child through something like this.
We've gotta get involved in their lives and be positive and be to the forefront.
@Traci Lavette: I think you hit the nail on the head with parents not instilling the 'love yourself' factor. Maybe it's because as parents our work days are longer and there's so many things kids can do on their own (computer, video games, etc) whereas it doesn't leave much time for talking? Or it could be that this new generation has a younger set of parents and don't have the patience/knowledge of how to not only encourage but inspire their children...it could be alot of things but the one thing I do know is it starts with the parents.
@Reggie: I am with you...I believe that their are consequences for misbehavior and sometimes it's taking away the computer and sometimes it's a pop in the mouth but I think (maybe) with the younger generation of parents that we're seeing that maybe some are leaning too heavily on physical punishment as they see that as a 'quick fix'...that's how I feel on it, I think their should be a balance and definetly there should be some discussion following the punishment (another thing that I think is missing)
I ould go on and on...
i don't think we're raising kids differently. the problem is they aren't being raised. not only that kids resort to crazy measures these days.
we used to say, "you so ugly..you looked a mirror and broke it.." and everyone was like "ooooooh".
now these kids tell each other to kill themselves. and they're doing it. i do blame the parents, but i blame then not for teaching their kids this shit is alright (cause they don't teach them most times) they just DON'T teach them it's not right.
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