Kids Say the Darndest Things

A blog dedicated to crazy shit my son says...

He's 5...will be 6 in October

"Mom you're frisky." -Him
"Huh?" -Me
"Girls are frisky, boys are mannish, you're a girl so you're frisky." -Him
"Okay baby." -Me

"Are you and my dad broke up?" -Him
"Why do you ask that?" -Me
"Cause you don't live together anymore." -Him
"Well yes baby, we are broken up but we still love you very much." -Me
"I know. You just don't love each other right?" -Him
"We still love each other, but we just don't work as boyfriend and girlfriend." -Him
"You make good moms and dads." -Him
"Where'd you hear that we broke up?" -Me
"My brain told me." -Him

"Grandpa is a republican! He voted for the enemy!" -Him (BTW...Grandpa is not a republican and he voted for Obama...but he teases my baby so my baby calls him a republican)

"Here's your cheeseburger you asked for." -Grandpa
"Thank you servant...now get out of my sight!" -Him

"I wish you and daddy still lived together." -Him
"Well, we get along alot better when we don't." -Me
"But if you don't live together, you won't have hearts in your eyes." -Him
"Hearts in my eyes? What you mean baby?" -Me
"For my daddy. I want you to have hearts in your eyes for him and him to have hearts in his eyes for you." -Him

"Ahhh, such a sweet smell." -Him smelling air freshner that was just sprayed.
"Yeah...it is nice." -Him's daddy
"Yeah...not like the bad smell I just made out of my butt." -Him

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MY DIGNITY!" -Him when I chase him around the house.

"What kinda girl you like baby?" -Me
"Um...well..." -Him
"Smart?" -Me
"Nuh uh...not smart. She needs to be pretty, popular, respectable, and fashionable." -Him
"Um okay...sure not smart?" -Me
"Nah...who needs smart? I want her to be just like you." -Him
"Riiiight...Thanks baby." -Me
"Oh! And she needs to have a comb!" -Him

"Hey Ms. Jessica, this is my grandma! My mom works late so she doesn't pick me up from school...heeeeey, my mom's the same color as you Ms. Jessica!" -Him talking to his teacher (BTW...Ms. Jessica is white...I am not)

"What tha!?" -Him

"Oh snap!" -Him

"Grandma takes her eyes out." -Him talking to his teacher (My mom wears contacts)

And the best "babyism" of all...

Him comes up and hugs my neck really tight.

"You're the best mom a guy could ever ask for. I love you." -Him

I love that guy!