Have yall heard Trina's song off her last album called Hot Commodity? Well if you haven't listen to it...that describes me lol. It was my theme song for the the 4th quarter of last year. The only problem lies in that I'm not a hot commodity to the guys that I find to be a hot commodity. Speaking of which...
When did ugly dudes get so damn bold?
I don't mean to toot my own horn *toot toot* but shit, I ain't bad on the eyes! Booty sit right, titties pretty nice, face is far from busted, clothes on point, articulate, well versed, decent in the kitchen ANNNNNND I can drink with the best of them. Shit if I was a dude I'd think I was a hell of a catch! But it seems that the only ones who checking for me fall into the following categories:
1.) Just ugly for no damn reason-if you have a face only YOUR mother can love, please don't approach me...if you look like the Predator and Freddy had a baby, don't you dare even BREATHE my way much less speak to me in a romantic sense. We can be friends! But since you so facially challenged don't you DARE expect more than that.
2.) Just shorty mc short pants-if you are not at least 5'10" you are not eligible for admittance onto this here ride okay? Point, blank, period. If you wear size 4T clothing, I can't do nothing wit ya. Besides, I like to shop and I don't need no leprechaun up in my face accusing me of stealing his gold
3.) Just cheap summabitches-we in the club...we flirt and dance here and there and you ask for my number you will get turned down if you didn't offer to buy a drink. 9 times out of 10 I'm not going to take said drink (cause please believe I got my own and have no problem dropping 60 bucks at the bar in one night) but still you need to offer it if you interested in me. Shiiiiiid, ain't nothing in the world free, my number ain't either.
4.) Just rude ass rude-if you want my number...if you want my attention...ACT LIKE IT! Do not approach me holding your dick, do not blatently eye my hips through my jeans as you lick your lips. I realize that physical attributes are what you're going to base your interest over but damn muh fucka! you look like you 2 minutes off just straight up taking the draws against my will. I'm not asking for you to act like the physical doesn't matter cause it does but damn! Can you at least try to trick a bitch?
5.) Just nasty mcnasty pants- Your breath stink, your teeth dirty, your shoes rolled over, your hair not cut, your beard is scruffy...the list goes on. If you looking like you just hitched a ride on a garbage truck from the sewage treatment center you need not come up to me. Sure, you may never see me again, but this is why I never leave the house looking a mess.
The next one is gonna sound bad when it comes out but...bear with a bitch.
6.) Just fat ass fat-now I BY FAR am no size 2...I'm a size 18 and got damn it I'm proud of it! I love all my curves and would be devestated to lose them. I am not looking for an Adonis, quite frankly those body types don't interest me. I like a man with some meat on his bones...a thickums if you will because I like to cuddle and don't wanna lay my head on a six pack, but a little beer belly, well shit, ain't a damn thing wrong with that. But when your stomach straight up hanging over your pants when you tuck in your shirt...muh fucka we got a problem. If your titties are bigger than mine...brah...we got a problem. And it seems like every dude within a 50 mile radius that got the hook up on all the 2025 snack cakes loves to look up in my face. :thinking: Maybe I need to get rid of the vanilla lipgloss....
:SIGH:
When will the bringer of the butterflies appear
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