Trying to be nice....

I forgot to tell yall about Drake...

"Big toe face Drake?" <---you questioning me

No silly! Let me start from the beginning...

I made a plan to go visit Sunshinestar110 in DC one weekend...brought a new dress...got a new weave...was ready to do the damn thing in DC! I get up there, we go out to the Zanzibar...soon as we walk in, but after I get my double shot of ciroc and pineapple juice we head to the dancefloor to survey surroundings and get some of Diddy's juice (pause) in our system...I look to my left and see...

Drake...a dude in a wheelchair...he's looking directly in my face.

"Shit." I say to myself...for some reason handicap men in the club LOOOOOOOVE ya girl. I on know why but they always on me like white on rice on a paper plate in a snowstorm *sigh*....so I goes on about my partying way...I get towards the end of my drank and start to sway my hips a bit to the beat of whatever song was on...Drake apparently saw this as my mating call, he reaches up and grabs my hand from his seated position, I move my arm away and take two steps to the side like I was doing the Cha Cha slide or some shit.

I steer clear from him for the remainder of the night...I see him out the corner of my eye...he looks so pitiful so I go and dance in front of his chair...I give to charity whenever possible *shrug*.

So then...after another double shot of ciroc and pineapple juice...and a swig of Sunshinestar's Berry ciroc and pineapple I hear Get me Bodied over the speakers...

Bitch...

Ya girl acted a straight up ASS!

Was I sweeping the floor with it?

Yes I sure the fuck was.

Was I patting my weave?

Yes I sure the fuck was.

I said to myself "fuck it...this ain't your town" so I was shonuff putting on a show for anybody within 15 1/2 feet of me. But...when your girl got up from  sweeping the floor and all types of other fuckery my body said "BITCH YOU CRAZY?!!? You in your 20's...late 20's! Not your damn teens bitch!"

And I was stuck for a minute while my body regained conciousness so to speak and just as the blood started to recirculate through my extremities again I feel a hand on my forearm...

You guessed it!

Drake had wheeled himself on over during my performance and had me trapped between his chair and the wall behind me.

FAWCK!

He's telling me this and telling me that, singing my praises so to speak...I was waiting for him to break out into a rendition of you're the best I've never had. He tells me he just turn 21...I tell him I have a son his age, he looks shocked and tells me I look really good for my age (LMAO). He asks for my number, I tell him I'm kinda seeing somebody, he says something to counteract...he asks again for my number, I tell him I live 2 hours away, "I love to drive" he counters.

"This nigga just won't quit!" <---me talking to myself

So tired of him holding me up I give in and give him the number so he'll shut the fuck up and wheel on away...and because he was trying so hard I felt bad (yall know I'm an eternal "nice guy"...so to speak). And for hmmmm 2-3 weeks I actually entertained him by accepting his phone calls and texts...but made it clear it was not going down the road he wanted it to. A for effort because he persisted....but yeah...no. I couldn't have weekend at bernies sex with this guy!

Am I wrong?

Maybe...

I'll be that though...everyone has their preferences...light...dark...thin...thick...tall...short...etc...

I prefer a guy that can walk.

Shoot me.

Either way after hmmmmm 6 days of ignored phone calls/texts and a "nasty" text message on my behalf...

"You actually gonna answer if I call tonight?" -Drake

"Hmm....if I'm not sleep or otherwise occupied I guess I can" -Epitome

Rude?

Oh well. He got the point.