Heeeeeere's Johnny!

Having a conversation with my hoodrat friend (I know, I know...since I'm not living the single life anymore you all (and I) are fored to live vicariously through her antics) and we were discussing men now of course because she is a hoodrat (that grew up in the suburbs with me) she is searching for her hoodrat counterpart...

"I want a dude that's street but still has a 9-5 like me you know?"

Okay...I could see where she was coming from, I kinda want the same thing. I'm not a complete square but I'm not wilding out in the projects either, in a partner one looks for their counterpart, something that is within them, so yeah...I could agree with her on that. Then she got into specifics and she lost me...

"Yeah girl I want a dude with some long ass dreads, all tatted up, drive a Charger with rims, and some gold fronts but still brings home the bacon."

Fronts? A Charger? That's what you aspire to have? Uhhh okay...to each their own I guess. Then she went even further...

"Yeah girl I need a nigga to show he love me...be a lil jealous n shit you know what I'm saying? I remember I put on a see through dress, titties and erry'thang showing and my old dude told me 'yeah wear dat' what the fuck kinda shit is that? I mean damn can a bitch get told she can't wear that? Is that too much to ask for?"

**blink blink...blink blink**

"So you telling me you want a nigga...that's crazy?" -me

"I mean yeah...a lil bit." -her

**blink blink...blink blink**

And at that point I thought back to all the books I've read, all the TV shows/movies I've watched about women who feel the need to be with a man who is "crazy" in order to feel really wanted or loved by that man. I call it Ho Syndrome because if you look at documentaries about pimps/hoes you see that these women that are prostitutes often feel like that.

"A hoe think like this, 'if Daddy don't beat me dat mean he don't love me' beating your hoe is like hugging a regular woman.' -Bishop Don Magic Juan

It kills me to hear women with this warped ass views of relationships.

"You know you deal with a little bit more when a dude is doing what he's supposed to do...you deal with a lil cheating because he got you a nice house and keep a lil money in your pocket you know?" -her

"Bitch I'll just be single cause you not gonna ask something of me (monogamy) when you can't afford me the same courtesy, nah dude, you can kick rocks with open toe shoes." -me

I know what yall thinking...

"Why the fuck is Epitome friend's with this dumb bitch?"

Well...number one I'm a super saver of sorts. My ex told me before I have a habit of picking friends that aren't on my level and that is why I end up having so many issues with my so called friends (as of recent as I blogged recently I got rid of all those types of "friends" and now my friend hierarchy contains only true blue friends) so I often become with friends that I feel I can help, be it financially, mentally, relationship wise, whatever...if I can contribute something to someone's life I'm more than willing, not to mention happy to do it. Now yes, as we've seen in the few stories this past week, my hoodrat friend isn't the brightest bulb in the box, but she's a damn good friend, she's misguided as hell but sincere. We've been friends for 15 years and though she's dumb as a box of rocks in many aspects...many...many...many aspects...that is my nigga for life lol.