Boredom = Porn

Now as you all know (well most of you) I've been watching Porn for a long time so after almost 20 years of watching it the effect its supposed to have has kinda worn off on me, I watch it as people would watch a regular movie...just like seeing two gay men in public is no longer considered taboo, seeing a double penetration is no longer considered taboo to me.

Just another day at the office! So if you were to ever text/call/tweet/email/whatever me and ask me what I'm doing, be not surprised if I say...

"Eating chicken nuggets, laying in the bed watching porn."

So anyway, the other night I was bored, nothing was on TV so I turned on some redtube. I just click on the first one...it's a white chick and 3 dudes (one of which is Brian "Oh and it's shaved" Pumper who is nekkid as a jaybird but in church shoes...sans socks), she's deep throating them all, I'm impressed...I keep watching...

They move onto some ass fucking, like hardcore ass fucking, personally I'm not a fan of this because if you are a pro at porn watching (such as myself) you will know that hardcore ass fucking (fucking an asshole as one would do a vagina) especially when there is more than one man involved leads to gaping.

Don't know what gaping is? Allow me to explain to you...

Take a piece of paper and a pen/pencil, poke a hole in the paper with just the tip of the pen/pencil. Now keep doing that pushing a little bit more of the pen/pencil through the hole in the paper...repeat, and repeat, and repeat, and repeat...what happens?

Yeah...you get a big ole hole. And I think that is gross ass gross. So eventually that's what happens, shorty girl got a big ass 5th dimension timewarp portal for an asshole now. Blech...but I keep watching because as anyone knows...

You gotta see the money shot!

So I keep watching...one afer another each dude cums in her ass...another blech on my part because it's gotta come out, no sooner do I say that in my head does short girl proceed to fart out the cum onto the table she's squatting on...but wait...there's more...she slurps up the cum that was in her ass, that she farted out, onto the table that 3 dudes asses were rubbing against only moments ago...and slurps it up into her mouth like it was vanilla yogurt.

Now the problem that I had with this wasn't that she swallowed the cum...it was the point of where it had come from...where it had been! It was a doo doo cream shake!!!! And she was LOVING that shit UGH! On top of the fact that she was making a big to do on the slurping sounds which turned my stomach even more...I haven't seen any porn that turned my stomach in a looooooong time...I broke that streak that night.

And on a sadder note...I read that one of my favorite porn stars OG Mudbone died!

Just like his 14 inch dick, I don't know if this is in fact true but if it is I for one am saddened! He was my favorite not because of his abnormally large (and questionable) phallus...but because the mutha fucker is HEE.LARRY.US!

"You've just been blasted bitch"

**insert knee slapping laugh here**

Shit gets me everytime...and I love to see how these women react when he squirts (literally) at least half a gallon of baby batter in their faces...shit is pure comedy! Well if he is dead that sucks, his movies were like standup comedy to me.