What not to do in a relationship
So I'm reading number 1...I sniggle...all is well...I get to number 2 and I BURST out laughing...
"2. Do not make unnecessary noise when finishing up a game of sex. If you need to, master the art of orgasming with minimal noise on your own time. I have seen a shaking man squeal dolphin like sounds and it scared the crap out of me. AND I told all my friends about him. I’m not saying keep quiet, but just take it like a man. If it’s good, it’s good, but I have yet to meet a woman who enjoys competing for airtime with her mate."
"Okay that's funny but it ain't THAT funny..." -you being disrespectful yet again
It was side quaking funny to me because I have talked about this very subject to my bestie before (the only female friend I would remotely convey any portion of my sex life to and even then details are few and far between)
Average convo between me and bestie:
"So how was the sex?" -her
"It was alright...he cums ugly though." -me
"Here you go..." -her
Maybe it's just me because I haven't heard any other female comment on it but I hate ugly cummers!
I hate the moaning ("oooooh, oooooooo, oooooo"), I hate the whimpering ("mmmm, mmmm, mmmm"), I hate the shutting of your eyes so much that you damn near squeeze a tear or two out, I hate the broken record ("I'm cummin, I'm cummin, I'm cummin"), I hate all of that shit!!!! Bite your bottom lip and grunt like a man! Stop whining like a lil bitch! *eyeroll*
I have the ability to be completely quiet when my love is coming down, I mean COMPLETE silence (...don't ask me how I know or how I've honed this skill...just ride with the fact that I can) so why is it that I'm the fairer sex and I can cum like less of a girl than a man can?
If you display any of the characteristics when cumming I have described above and you are a man....you should REALLY work on that...that's just my opinion though...ladies what say you?
6 comments:
....yeah I can see that screwing but an potential relationship. I don't have that problem myself but if I'm puttin' in good work I WISH a woman would complain about "how I sound" at the end. LOL that's gotta be the most over critical thing i heard in a while, now u got me laughing.
Good morning :p
I'm a talker and I've never had a problem w/ women in this area. I thought women like to know shit is going down. I don't want no quiet azz female having a sexual eruption and not making any noise. I might as well watch the game while I bust one.
Also, I hate chicks who moan like porn stars. That's annoying...
Sex is awesome!!!!
To me it really doesn't matter what faces she makes or sounds she makes.....as long as I can make her do those things that all that really counts.
I don't have a problem with screaming or crying or whatever a woman does when she's cumming and I've never even given a second thought to the faces I've made. What I am wary of are "special requests" made during the height of passion. It's the "piss on me" or "slap me hard" or "bend me over and beast fuck me" requests that make me laugh.
The first time a woman asked me to "piss" on her while we were boning, I laughed so hard that I fell out of the bed and lost my erection.
I've never given a second thought to any sounds a man makes when He's getting it good from me. I would have for him to be completely quiet unless we're being sneaky and in that instance he NEEDS to be quiet. Otherwise I don't mind hearing him make noise during the hump and during the conclusion. I've been told by men that they LOVE hearing me when we're at it. And I really do hate keeping the feel good to myself. So make noise if you wanna. I'm good with it.
And if he's screaming like a bitch from something I've done. Then I deserve a fucking hi 5!
@Nightfall: LMAO! It's not a deal breaker...just something I noticed that rubs me the wrong way
@Ice: I'm not saying one shouldn't talk...I LOVE hearing talking, its just the octave I'm hearing that bothers me
@Reggie: YES! Sex is awesome! Okay...what kinda women you messing with that are requesting pee pee showers? I need a blog about that!
@Krissy: I don't like complete quiet either, but screaming like a bitch? Nah...no good.
@neighbors: I agree! But its just when they are extra with it, octave 3 notes higher than me...nuh uh, I can't with that
i'm saying..grunting is all that is necessary. i'ma slingblade a chick...
"mmm..mmm..this feels good..mmm.."
followed by.. "mmmm oh mmmm"
followed by.. a request for an aftersex meal..
"i sure would like some of them biscuits with the jelly..mmm"
(you would have had to watched the movie Sling Blade with billy bob thorton to get this lol)
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