DON'T YOU DARE

Insult my intelligence!

Men...I know there are women out there who are dumb. I KNOW THIS! However I am not one of them. I keep it all the way 100 with you out the gate. Please afford me the same courtesy. Don't think you slick when you try to tell me a lie that just don't sound right, I will see through that shit! You might think you slick, but trust patnah, you not slicker than me. I have something that many people (men included) don't possess...it's called COMMON SENSE (ironic little phrase)! I tell all men I meet,

"Do NOT lie to me. There's no reason for it. Game respect game. I'm not gonna flip out and go all fatal attraction on you."

You wanna see other people? Fine, let me decide if I want to sign up for that or not, don't NOT (yes, I said, and meant to say don't not) try to be a "pimp" about it. YOU WILL GET CAUGHT! I may not catch you today or tomorrow...oh but trust me when I say, I will catch your ass. And when I do, oh you gonna be looking like this fool here:

"Huh?"

Yeah, that will be yo ass. I'm not gonna argue and yell and scream. Cause despite what you may read here...

"I'm a laaaaaaaday"

For instance...take this guy I work with. He's a NOTORIOUS "player" if you 25 or younger and work at my job...he's fucking you...or has already done so (and we got 4 buildings at my job, all of which have at least 5 floors, so you do the math). So of course I catch his eye and he's interested however I shut that down at the gate.

"You will never see, touch, taste, much less smell my pussy, so you can cancel whatever plans you got bra."

But still he thinks he can outsmart me. Such a silly goose he is, I've told him once, I've told him twice, don't let the tender age fool ya, cause I'm by far a rookie to this. Follow me to my work email where we had a convo two weeks ago...

Him-"Would you date a younger man, say 19?"
Me-"No"
Him-"Why?"
Me-"Been there, done that. Younger men aren't on the same playing field intellectually as me"
Him-"What about 35?"
Me-"8 years is my max difference"
Him-"So I'm out then?"
Me-"You're 35?"
Him-"Yep, will be 36 in two weeks"

Let's stop right there. He just said he was 35 right? Right. Now he should know better than to lie seeing as though his manager used to be my manager and me and his manager is TIGHT. He ain't been 35 for a couple years now. But maybe he mistook the 5 for an 8...cause the negro is 38 (well was, he's 39 now). Now instead of calling him out now, I'm gonna wait until later, maybe a couple weeks and pull all those cards he holding, plus I like to see the "Huh" face in person.

Men, yall can be so dumb sometimes...