The Motion of the Ocean

Soooooo....I was having a convo with Sunshinestar today about (what else) dicks. We love dicks (it's true) and a line from a movie came to mind whilst we were talking:

"They got little dicks and can't fuck." -Gloria

"Or big ones and still can't fuck!" -Robin

There are basically three sizes of dicks:

1.) The compact...the "pocket rocket" if you will...small lil itty bitty thing, looks like an outie belly button...or the scroll wheel on a mouse. This wee thing doesn't reach past the balls when erect. No one really wants this dick...not even the owner.

2.) The midsize...what most men (no matter how many try to fake the funk) have....it's the sedan of the dick world, not big, not small...just average.

3.) The SUV...a big ole third leg, 2 inches from the floor dick...type of dick that when he takes it out it goes "WHOOMP" and your hair might move slightly because this gigantasaurus dick kicked up a little wind.

My personal favorite...the midsize..built for speed and comfort, an everyday type of dick...sure everyone has one but there's a reason for that. They are a practical pick, good on gas and get the job done. Now don't get it twisted...I love a big dick, so beautiful in all it's penile glory, thick and veiny, reaching down to the earth like a runner about to take his glory across the finish line...just grazing the thigh and pointing directly at you like an arrow aiming for your gspot *shudder* that's some good stuff right there...but..truth be told, that's not something I wanna put up with all the time...that's not relationship type dick...that's for the moment type of dick (to me) because...as you know I LOVE giving head...a favorite past time of mine, I'll more often than not suck a dick over fucking. Now we all know it's called a blow job, a blow job to a big ole mammoth dick nigga is a blow job with overtime and no time and a half pay, jaws start to hurting before you even do anything. The SUV dick is alot of work...gotta CLIMB up to the mutha fucker, watch all your mirrors at all times because you driving this big ass "vehicle" (don't want it to go down a road that it's not welcome), it drains your pockets because of the "gas" (gas = condoms...big dick condoms = expensive...and if you want good ones you have to go to the sex shop because the bigger the condom, the more latex used, the more latex used, the less you and your partner feel).

Women are always on the search for a nigga with a baby arm of a dick...a third leg...a human tripod if you will...I on the other hand will pass on the long term commitment to such...riding a SUV is like taking a trip away from home...it's fun for awhile and I'll look back fondly on the memories...but there's no place like home.

One has to be mentally prepared to deal with a SUV, it's like having a baby in reverse (sorry...to me it is). You can't just spring that on me, I gotta wrap my mind around the situation first...gimme some pre warning! I prefer something a little easier, sex shouldn't be necessarily work...and a big dick takes work!

And then MOST times you run into these big ole pretty dicks...and the owner's don't even know how to operate them! Just poking around causing discomfort because some stupid bitch neglected to tell him just because you got a big dick don't mean you can fuck...you still gotta put forth effort with that monster (if not more than a midsize) because unlike a midsize...a SUV just can't go 'weaving through traffic' with ease, no, that big muh fucker gotta turn on lights, check the mirrors a couple times and make sure the space is big enough to get into...and sometimes...no matter how much they try...they just aren't going to fit. *shrug* I can't put my feet behind my head and have a SUV ram into my love below! SUV hitting my cervix like breezy hit rhi rhi = pain not pleasure. No thank you, if I had to choose I'll take a fat midsize over a SUV anyday...well almost anyday.