Coming Together

Much like the economy I've had a rough couple years (as I'm sure you've read) but for the first time...in a very long time...I feel optimistic about what's ahead of me.

I'm employed with a company I see myself with for the long run...not just a couple years. The benefits are awesome and the job itself though not exactly what I would be doing if I had my choosing, fits my lifestyle for the time being. I like the people, I like the location, I generally speaking...like my job. How many people can say that? Of course I'm only a couple weeks in but looking back over the jobs I've had (and there have been several) I've never had a "good/optimistic" feeling about the employment...it was just a job...just a paycheck. This time it's a little different, the culture there is different from anywhere I've been employed in the past...so far I'm a happy camper.

I've FINALLY turned all my paperwork in and met with my counselor for school and I will be a student pursuing my Business degree yet again come the spring semester, and this time I shan't fuck around with the fuck around. I will get er done lol. I can't keep putting this school stuff off and having that little stupid piece of paper (no matter how irrelevant I think it is) is important to others...so I shall bite the bullet and take stupid courses that teach me information I will probably never use in the future just so I can have that fancy piece of paper in a frame that says I did it.

My journey into natural hair has made me look not only at my hair health but my health as a whole. I've switched many of the products I use in favor of more natural products and have even took to making concoctions of my own at home for not only my hair but my skin as well. I've become more aware of what I put into my body and take more care of myself through diet and exercise, I've also starting taking multivitamins and let me just tell you I feel a million times better. I'm also working on drinking 10 8oz glasses of water EVERYDAY...needless to say I pee alot lol.

As I've mentioned before I 'searched and destroyed' some people I called my friends...gone is the drama that they brought into my little world...gone is the dread of having to deal with them on a day to day basis. They were great for a time but I couldn't keep them any longer...they were doing more harm than good in my life and I don't need nor do I want the negative energy clouding my area. I like my surroundings to be light and full of cheer and the people that were removed didn't bring that forth on a daily basis so...c'est la vie...that's life, they had to get 86'd. Wish them nothing but the best.

My relationship status...HA! is all I have to say to that. Banks was short lived, not that I didn't kinda expect that to occur. We weren't equally matched and I knew that, but he was my type...physically anyway and I tried to force feed the "relationship" on myself...as is the case with forcing, it rarely works...such is the case with he and I. I don't know who I was fooling, we didn't even have anything to talk about lol...but again..c'est la vie...that's life. I'm not looking for a man/boyfriend...yes it would be nice to have one but I'm just focusing on what I need to do for me and for my little man...that other shit will come on it's own...and if it doesn't *shrug* fuck it. I made peace with the thought of being alone a long time ago, besides out of all the men I've met/dealt with/had a conversation with only two were even remotely close to getting me for the long haul (BD & Milk)...and I'm not with them so yeah.

What I've learned over the past couple years...I've wasted alot of time. Time is something you can never recoup. I've wasted money but I can always make more (provided I am able bodied and such) but time? I can't just go to the Walmart and buy a pack of time. So I've decided to try and question everything I do in life in order to give myself...more direction if you will.

1. Does this make me money?
2. Does this make me happy?
3. Is this short term or long term?
4. How do I benefit from this?

I'm a MASTER of jumping into something headfirst and trying to figure out shit as I go along...that ends up bad for me usually, especially since I'm a planner by nature. I'm thinking this little checklist will provide me with more direction...because I could really just piss my life away if I don't gain more.

I've also decided to take advice from Chris Crocker (yes...when he appeared on CNN all those years ago I watched a good amount of his youtube videos...some were pretty fucking funny) who said in one of his videos from 4-5 years ago:

"If it ain't cute, put it on mute"

My bestie will tell ya...I hear bullshit coming out of people's mouths and I just say...

"Okay."

I know you're a liar, I know what you're saying isn't adding up but instead of calling you on it, I just make note of it but say nothing to the person in question...a bad bad habit. No longer will I sit idly by while Ms. ABC or Mr. XYZ feed me lines about this bullshit situation or this false person...I'm just gonna call a spade a spade and keep it moving, hate it or love it. Not to mention it kinda ties into my plan of giving myself more direction...

Plus the saying is cute dammit!


*hairflip*

I know I rambled like a bitch through most of this post but I had to catch you all up! Besides that I know this is a public blog but it's still kinda like a diary of sorts so when I have a thought...I write it here instead of killing helpless trees by writing it in a notebook...this is easier, greener, and I have spell check! Okay, I'm a dork...but you all love me anyway :-P