Gimme some advice

Daily rundown 02/23, 2009....for old times sake

Tan bootcut "work" pants
Black v-neck shirt with ruffles (accentuating the V)
Cheetah print belt
Cheetah print shoes
Hair-wavy (really boof) ponytail and bangs
Standard jewels
Fragrance-Vera Wang Princess

Ahh..daily rundown...takes me back

Anywho, onto the blogging

Diva's log 02/23/2009

I have a crush on a boy, we'll call him...Nat...I've known him since forever. We went to elementary, middle, and high school together. I've had a crush on him for two years, the first year I saw him a couple times, thought he was a cutie but didn't dare let him in on the fact that I was digging him because I was involved at the time. But since I have parted ways with previous stated distraction, I see him often...and man oh man does he look good.

Allow me to give you some background

As I stated, I've known said boy since 4th grade. Never looked twice at him, he was always just kinda there. He's always been friendly, but anybody whose anybody can tell you, I was a straight up bitch back in the day. A defense mechanism I used in order to scare the boys away, I have an older brother (6 years my senior) along with all his many male friends who gave me all the rundown on men/boys and their ways. Needless to say, I took notice and refused to be labeled a dumb girl. So instead of testing the waters, I put up the wall (fuck that, I put up an encasing) and refused to let anyone within 20 yards of even getting to know me on an intimate level. Now, he says I was mean to him (more than likely true) and that he had a huge crush on me (never knew this until about 2 months ago).

Back to the present...

I see him in a club last year, he reveals this crush he had to me. I smile sweetly and rub a finger down his chest (not in a sleezy way mind you...playful if you will) and say,

"Well, you are a cutie now."

I walk off...peek over my shoulder, he's still standing in the same spot, big goofy grin on his face...but doesn't approach me. Hmm, situation has me perplexed.

Fast forward to December, I see him in another club (I know, I know, I club alot). But my friend (who knows I have a teenage love affair type crush with him) says,

"Yo, your boo here."

"Who?" I ask with a little disgust cause I had seen one of my stalkers earlier

"Nat." She says. I nearly break my neck turning around to look for him (yeah, its that serious), I spot him and strut my stuff over to him, just as I reach him, he's turning to walk the other way, I grab ahold of his shirt, forceful but not enough for him to get upset at me pulling his clothes. He smiles, I smile, we embrace. His friend is eyeing me up and down, "Gat damn Nat!" He says looking me over. Me and 'Nat' chat it up for a bit, he asks about my mom, my son, how my christmas was, etc, I do the same all the while making mean eye contact and making sure my body is pressed ever so slightly against him, I smile and giggle and flip my hair...still no cigar. There's the akward silence and I give him another full body (not church) hug and go on my way. At this point I'm feeling kinda defeated cause I KNOW I was looking and smelling good. I go back over to my friend and sulk for the rest of the night. In the car on the way home I tell he how fucked up I feel about the situation to which she responds,

"Maybe he scared of you, I watched him, he seemed interested."

"Or maybe he got a girlfriend." I respond.

"Well why don't you try talking to him outside the club?"

"That's the only time I see him."

"Well you know he work at that barber shop by your house."

Hmm...close proximity...I have a son...he needs a haircut ever so often, yeah...sounds like a plan.

(Disclaimer: I don't recommend doing what I've done, I'm ashamed by my actions to say the least...but dammit, that brotha is FIONE!!!)

So about two weeks ago I finally decide to go to the shop. I dress my baby first, make sure he looking super fresh. Then I dress myself, hair...check...makeup...check...outfit...check, appealing but doesn't scream "I got cute to come up here". We go in...he's not there :(

But 10 minutes into the cut in he walks in all that fineness...baggy blue jeans, white tee, fresh wheat tims, some type of wheat colored fitted to match...(let me take a minute to reflect...okay). He sees me and eyes light up, smile stretches across his face so wide I can almost see the back teeth.

"What's up girl?" He says in a baritone voice that made me think I may need a panty change pronto.

"Nothing." I say trying to remain cool but a giggle slipped out.

We chat for awhile, I'm throwing out some hard core flirting without having it come across as obvious. Hair flipping, smiling, direct eye contact, giggling, a little narrowed eye for an intense effect and all he can do is go on an on about how I used to be mean to him and how it crushed his world. Now, I don't know how to quite read this cause he's giving me flirtatious signals back, direct eye contact, narrowed eyes, smiling, talking low, standing close (pelvis to pelvis), and some LL lip licking here and there. Part of me wants to say:

"Geez nigga! Stop crying! That was like 10 years ago! Take that sob story to Maury."

But instead I say...sweetly:

"Okay, I was mean to you then, but I'm nice to you now right?"

"Yeah, yeah, you real nice to me now."

"Okay, then let's stop focusing on the past and live in the present."

"Yeah you right."

(We both smiling at each other)

He makes small talk about going out and have I seen so and so or whatever and by this time my son's haircut is done, I pay the guy and tip him a five spot cause I figure they're gonna talk about me when I leave so I need to give them something good to say, besides, my son is a handful when it comes to getting his haircut so I usually tip well anyway. So I get my baby's coat on and I walk by Nat...

"See you later." I say

"Yeah, you know where I'm at, stop by and holla at me sometimes." He says

"Aight." I reply and walk out...defeated again cause he didn't even ask for my number.

Now my question to you is this, which one of these scenarios seems to be true:

A.) He's feeling me, be a little more aggressive and he'll come around

B.) He's really trying to find out why you were a dick to him in school, leave the love notions at the gate, he's not feeling you like that

C.) He just wants to be friends

or (the least likely of the three given what type of person he is)

D.) Girl RUN! He just wants you to start feeling him so he can tear your world apart like he said you did his back in the day